The Burden of the Innocent Tourist

One of the first trips that I went on this year was to Bath and Stonehenge. I remember learning about Stonehenge in middle school geography, or maybe it was history, with Mr. Gaines, and building clay or soap or some other strange sort of model of it. I don't think it really hit me how impressive Stonehenge really is. I don't think it can hit anyone how impressive Stonehenge is unless they actually see it. We happened to see it in the morning, and the way the sun was hitting it was especially gorgeous.

After Stonehenge, we went to Bath and saw the Roman Baths and a bit of the city. I loved the atmosphere. It definitely had a much more European feel than Brighton. A market was going on in the High Street, and stalls filled with random things dotted the road. The buildings oozed history and memories, practically tangible. It was almost dreamlike.

One of the most eventful parts of the day was when we stopped to watch a random street performer. He was juggling, riding a unicylce, making jokes, the usual. Then he started asking for volunteers. He walked around the circle searching out those perfect, poor, defenseless souls to embarass just for a little laugh from the crowd.

He picked out two youngish guys. Their 'no eye contact' tactics had failed to make them blend in with the rest of the crowd. As he continued round the circle, a feeling of dread started growing in my guts. No, he can't. He won't. Look somewhere else. Don't make eye contact. Duck a little bit, maybe he won't see me. Maybe I should act like I don't speak English? What? Gray coat? Well, mine's not technically gray...

And I was chosen to be his third volunteer. Ever notice how they call it 'volunteering' when really no one ever actually wants to. This must be mandatory volunteering, then. This must be...obligation...requirement...The Burden of the Innocent Tourist! Why, oh why did I have to stop and watch this crazy man!

It was supposed to be some really simple, quick volunteering. The guy rode by us on his extremely tall unicycle and said "ready...go!" and we threw him the...juggling thing. Number 1 guy: ready...go! Perfect. Number 2 guy: ready...go! Same. Me: ready...(I throw it) Hey! I wasn't ready!

Not so quick and simple... And I was forced into the middle of the circle to rescue the juggling thing and be made fun of by the unicycle man. So I was standing there hoping I didn't hit him in the face or something when I threw the thing to him when he told me to hand it to him. Whew! He lit it - yes, fire - and handed it back. What?! And he proceeded to make fun of me. "You're not American, are you?" "Uh...yes?" "Shit! Everyone! This girl is American!" Everyone just stared.

Finally, he let me throw the flaming juggling thing at him, and I didn't hit him in the face or set him on fire...! And the day was a success!