i will tell you a story, giving you a small example of how this girl has made my life hell:
also. just for the record, this was one of the few times in my life that i actually had some good, relevant stuff to say in the heat of the moment...usually i think of something good like three days later...
story:
i was invited to a wedding, and told to bring a date. so i decided to ask this girl to be my date. "of course!" is what she told me.
two days before said wedding, she calls me and tells me that she needs to be out of her apartment by the day of the wedding so she's not coming.
so i'm stuck going to a wedding without a date. not a big deal, other than the fact that she told me she would do something and then totally backed out when it got a little bit hard to figure out.
the next day (the day before the wedding) she calls me to tell me that if she has some help she can be moved out of her apartment by that night and then will be able to go to the wedding with me.
"ok..." i say.
she asks me to help her move out of her apartment, and so i tell her i will.
i drive 70 miles to help her move. when i get to her apartment, i'm a little excited, because it's always kind of fun to move somewhere knew, even if you're just helping someone else do it. so i go in her apartment and i'm like "are you excited that we're moving?!" or something along those lines.
"i don't feel like it" she says.
"what?"
"i said i'm not doing it. i don't feel like moving so i'm not going to." (with some serious attitude on her part).
"you know what? you're ridiculous. i don't even know how you can call yourself a friend. if you tell someone you're going to do something, regardless of whether it's being a date to a wedding or helping them out, you do it. you don't just back out when something comes up or when things get hard, you work around it. and when someone drives 70 miles just to help you, you don't just suddenly "not feel like it". it's rude, it's inconsiderate, it's selfish. i could go on. but you know what? you're not even worth it."
"claire, you're making a big deal out of nothing." she tells me. still attitude.
" you're right. this isn't a big deal. the fact that makes it a big deal is that you're always pulling this shit. and i'm always putting up with it. and do i ever say anything? no. i always. always let it slide, don't i?"
and i walked out and bought a coffee and called my sister and cried on my 70-mile way back home.
and THEN.
oh yes, there is more.
she TEXTED me to say "sorry homie, i just don't feel good"
when i didn't answer, she texted again. "claire, there's no need to make me feel like an asshole, it's not my fault"
i called her and told her: "you ARE being an asshole, and it IS your fault. if you were effing sick (i may have dropped an f-bomb or two...) you could have called me and told me Before i left and wasted money that i don't even have on gas. but did you think of that? no. because you only ever think of yourself." click.
throughout the next few weeks - months possibly - actually, pretty sure. it was the begnning of the summer, and at the end of the summer i was going to leave for england. throughout the rest of the summer she would periodically text fight me. i'll admit, i took her bait a few times, but most of the time i was strong and i would just tell her "if you want to fight about this you can grow a pair and call me." yes, that is what i told her...
finally, at the end of the summer, she asked if we could get together to talk about things. i was going to be in town for some last minute things i had to do before i left, so i figured, what the hell.
she asked if we could meet at a coffee house. so i get there and she's not there. i sat for a half an hour before she showed up. i almost got up and left, but where would my sense of decency be? i would be left with a guilty conscience.
her eyes immediately started tearing up (i still don't know if it was real or just an act of manipulation) but i didn't cut her any slack.
"i don't really think you're in a position to be 30 minutes late" is what i told her.
then she started crying and telling me about how her friends were a bad influence and just random other stuff. maybe it was genuine. maybe it wasn't. i really have no idea. but since she was always acting like that, and pulling different strings, i never really knew what to believe.
at the time, she made my life hell. she was one of my few close friends. it was hard to come to the realization that i would either keep getting treated like that, or that i had to move on.
we talked a bit after that. we got together a few times after i came back from england. i see her every once in a while now. i think the last time i saw her was something like two months ago. i really couldn't tell you if she is still the same, or if she has grown out of that.
it makes me a little sad that i lost such a close friend. but it also makes me realize that sometimes you have to do what's right for you, regardless of what anyone else thinks you want, or what they want. it sounds a little selfish, but you're the only one you have to live with...
picture from here
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