bad reputation

my latest love, and kind of fitting, i guess, at the moment....
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of course, i should be studying right now, as i have an exam tomorrow.  but i have been griping to everyone i know, and they are sick of this conversation, so now you get it!


last week we had to give presentations in one of our classes.  our topics were already chosen for us, we just had to put them together.  (our group did a skit! about racism....)  part of the group's grade depended on the class asking at least 2 questions.

some of the topics were cultural competency (racism is culturally incompetent), medical errors, and fidelity.

the fidelity group presented under the theme "if you cheat on a test in college you are less likely to report a medical error while working as a nurse," which kind of made my eyes pop a little.  at the end of their presentation, only one person asked a question.  so because i was a "little" irritated by their presentation, but i still wanted to help them out for their grade, i just asked a question.

and i said:  "can anyone here HONESTLY say they have never cheated on an exam?  i have never even played a game of solitaire with the cards without cheating.  does that mean i have less fidelity than someone who has "never" cheated on anything?"

and then i felt the eyes of 82 students and 3 professors (who i later found out were nodding and pointing at themselves when i asked my question).  and i wanted to sink into the floor.

this is the answer i got:  "if i'm in the hospital, i don't want to be treated by someone who cheated their way to being a nurse, because obviously they don't know what they're doing."

because patient care is severely affected by wyoming government.

it just made me so angry because they just sat in front of the class preaching fidelity, but they couldn't even own up to the fact that they cheated on a government exam freshman year (that was me), or bumped a car while parallel parking and didn't report it (that was also me), or kept the miscounted change in the amount of an extra dollar (that was probably also me).

we all cheat.  maybe not always, and maybe about more or less serious matters.  maybe simply in our own heads.  i don't know if i even know a single person who has not cheated at some point or another.

maybe there are a few out there who are genuinely moral people, maybe i know a few and i didn't even realize.  but if cheating on a government exam is an indication of being a horrible nurse who will not own up to her mistakes, then no one should be allowed to be a nurse.

i think we're all doing the best we can.  yes, some people are subconsciously more ok with cheating than others - intentionally copying the person's answers next to them on an exam, versus someone (me) who realized that their notes were sitting beside them, and answered a question with those notes without even needing to; a giant hit and run versus a bump that left no scratches (i checked) and so didn't really warrant reporting; stealing a wallet versus keeping a dollar of accidental change.  but i believe that most people know when to draw the cheating line.  or their guilty conscience does.

anyways.  i'm now the girl with the "i steal meds and won't report my iv mistakes" card on my forehead!
probably only in my own head, because my little argument has been festering in my brain.



on a separate note, i'm at the library, and this is my view at the moment:

no wonder i can't study.  i can't stop looking at the trees!!!

now i am from texas

i just graduated!
a ba in psychology.
but it doesn't really feel so real.
partly because i convinced everyone i shouldn't walk
partly because i am back in school already
(which is the reason i said i shouldn't walk)
and then i found out that their is no ceremony when i graduate from this program next fall.
oops.

well, now i live in texas, and i go to school, and i already have quizzes and exams.
i'm scared!!
but the graduation rate is 98%
i'm severely hoping that i won't be the 2%...

i'm super busy, but maybe i'll tell stories
(like about my new "friends" who ditched me before we were even friends)
on the weekends when i have a second

this weekend will be full of studying for exams and working out (i restarted today, and i have another "friend" to go with!!!) and sending mail and sitting on the deck with oni the cat.

cheerio, fine friends!  wish me luck in my latest adventures!

the hardest thing i ever did in the whole wide world.

remember when i was telling you about pinterest?  well, instead of writing a few more little bloggies, for when i go another 3 months without writing anything, i spent an hour pinteresting, learning how to make oreo cake in a flower pot and silver antler shelves. 

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last year, pj convinced me that we should run a half marathon.  which basically equals run until you are more than half dead.
and by convinced me, i mean that she mentioned it a few times, and i gave a vague reply, and then she called to tell me that she signed us up, and don't waste her registration fee money.  or something.

anyways.  i had about 3.5 months to prepare.  i ran a few 4 milers, and a few 6ers.  and then suddenly i only had 3 weeks left!!  so i went on a running binge and jumped from a 6er to a 9.5er.  which is bad.  every running magazine/pro/whatever says to never increase your distance by more than 10%.  oops. 

i figured that 9.5 was close enough to 13.1 and that i'd be fine.  ok, well right after my 9.5er, i figured the next week, at sissy's we could do 11, and then i'd be 2 miles away and be just fine. 

that didn't happen.  it took me the whole week and a half to recover from my 9.5er. 

then suddenly it was race day and i was standing in a giant crowd of people about to pee my pants or cry or throw up.  or all three.  and then the music started.  literally.  this guy near us was wearing a back pack boom box.  have you ever heard of one of those?  me neither. 

and then we started.  and i think i did like an 11 (or maybe it was 1130?? i can't remember) minute mile.  for the first half.  and i was still going strong.  and then the 11 mile point hit.  and i wanted to quit.  but i just kept telling myself that it's only 2 miles.  its only 20 minutes. 

and then we got to the real 11 mile point.  and i started crying.  burst into tears is really more descriptive, i guess.  all the people around were all crazy, yelling "DOES SHE NEED AN AMBULANCE. IS SHE OK." and it was kind of embarassing, but everything just hurt and i had tricked myself into thinking i was almost done, and instead of 20 minutes left, i had 27 minutes left.  so then sister made me eat some runny bears (named by my daddy:  like gummy bears but for running.  and they're square) and then i thought i could do it.

and then i started crying again at 1 mile. and i had to take my socks off.  because they were hurting my feet so bad.  it sounds weird. but they were sliding down around my toes and bunching and giving me blisters. 
and then when i started again, sister said we had to get some gatorade, but i couldn't stop or i would never finish.  so i poured yellow gatorade down my front and tried to catch a few drops on my tongue. 

and then i was running as fast as i could because i saw the end and everything hurt and i was sick of my stupid hat and i was sick of my cool dress that was not so cool to run in because it would slide up all the time (over my running clothes, that is) 

and then it was the end.  and sister got 1 second faster than me but i placed ahead of her. HAHAHA
we finished in like 2:38:something.  and i was dying.  all my muscles were seizing. i had at least 8 blisters.  this is not an exaggeration.  and sister looked like she just had a refreshing shower and brunch.  jerk. 

and this was the end:  i wore my medal for the rest of the time i was there, i think..

good thing i took my hat off.  when i saw pictures from the event, i finally realized just how stupid it really was.

NEVER CROSS ME.

i love pinterest.  i loved it before it got popular to facebook about what you're pinteresting.  irritating.  but i can't bring myself to get rid of it.  here is mine, in case you were looking for it.  or in case i was supposed to give you the link 3 months ago, but forgot because i'm so. busy.

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did i ever tell you about the time my big sissy and i raced to grow our hair out.  BORRRINGGG.  we started in the beginning of 2009 when i lived in england.  and it took 2 YEARS. 

but i won.  because i'm the only one (i think out of my whole family) who actually tells the haircutter person what i really want.  everyone else (ahem, mom and sister) just goes, "oh, i just kind of want it maybe cut a little bit.  here and there?"  and, after a massive hack job, or even a perfect cut, "that's great, thanks!"

so every time we got haircuts (the rule was we could only cut it when we were together, which averaged out to about every 6 to 8 months) mine would look about the same as it did before the cut, and hers would be about 3 inches shorter.  wahaha. 

anyways.  mine was 12 inches in no time!  (only a year and a half) but i had to wait another 6 months so that pj's could be 12 inches too. 

and this is what it looked like:

and this is what happened when i rubbed it in that i was winning:

and for once, and probably the only time, pj came to the haircutter place with a picture and she told the haircutter what she wanted. 

and then this happened:

pj didn't say anything, so i had to. 

me:  um...it looks kind of mushroomy.  you might want to do something about that.  maybe it should be shorter?  or something?

haircutter:  NEVER CROSS ME!  I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!  THE REASON IT LOOKS LIKE THIS IS THAT I HAVE TO FIX ALL THE PROBLEMS FROM THE LAST MORON WHO CUT THESE OTHERWISE LOVELY LOCKS.

me:  um...that was you?

haircutter:  I WAS JUST TESTING YOU.  THIS IS PART OF THE PROCESS.
and here is what we ended up with:

forgive the photography skills on this one.  usually my self portraits are much more artistic.  only, pj was leaving and (as usual) didn't want her portrait taken (do i sound like an artist?) and as much as she probably didn't want to go on a gross, staph-inducing airplane, she probably wanted to get away from me after 10 straight days (or however long i followed her around and said irritating things) (as usual).

and this is what is looked like from the back:
nice

crazy:  (by accident)

THE END.

i think it really is bad luck

i found a funny.  i've been reading all his old stuff.  not that i'm big on interweb speak, but he really is laugh out loud funny.

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friday the thirteenth.  i didn't even know til all the crazy/bad things already happened.

number one bad thing:  two exams this morning after too little studying
number two bad thing:  i can't get ahold of England to pay for a transcript i ordered and they only accept credit cards or "sterling cheques," which no bank in america has!
number three bad thing:  i am babysitting eda and oni while boyfriend is out of town and eda tried to eat the fedex man today. 
number four bad thing:  oni finally snuggled with me!  i had about half a second to be excited before she sunk her claws and her teeth into my leg.  so i pushed her off, and pissed her off, and she tore around the house like a rabid, well, cat.  then after she had disappeared for about a second, she came tearing back through the living room, launched herself in my direction, bit off half my ear, and was gone again before i even knew what happened.
number five bad thing:  when i was supposed to be able to take a breath, i had to do history assignments instead. 
number six bad thing:  ITS FREEZING OUT!

now i know what day it is, no more bad things are happening.  except for rude ladies who come to pay their bill and then yell at me for how much it is after i go out of my way to call the billing office and find out how much it is for them.  didn't you ever learn "don't be sassy and rude to the messenger"?

anyways, if i was clever, i would come up with thirteen to go with what day it is.  but i guess my life isn't that exciting.  or bad.  however you want to look at it.



T minus twenty three days before THE MOVE.