Monday, 23 April 2012

the hardest thing i ever did in the whole wide world.

remember when i was telling you about pinterest?  well, instead of writing a few more little bloggies, for when i go another 3 months without writing anything, i spent an hour pinteresting, learning how to make oreo cake in a flower pot and silver antler shelves. 
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last year, pj convinced me that we should run a half marathon.  which basically equals run until you are more than half dead.
and by convinced me, i mean that she mentioned it a few times, and i gave a vague reply, and then she called to tell me that she signed us up, and don't waste her registration fee money.  or something.

anyways.  i had about 3.5 months to prepare.  i ran a few 4 milers, and a few 6ers.  and then suddenly i only had 3 weeks left!!  so i went on a running binge and jumped from a 6er to a 9.5er.  which is bad.  every running magazine/pro/whatever says to never increase your distance by more than 10%.  oops. 

i figured that 9.5 was close enough to 13.1 and that i'd be fine.  ok, well right after my 9.5er, i figured the next week, at sissy's we could do 11, and then i'd be 2 miles away and be just fine. 

that didn't happen.  it took me the whole week and a half to recover from my 9.5er. 

then suddenly it was race day and i was standing in a giant crowd of people about to pee my pants or cry or throw up.  or all three.  and then the music started.  literally.  this guy near us was wearing a back pack boom box.  have you ever heard of one of those?  me neither. 

and then we started.  and i think i did like an 11 (or maybe it was 1130?? i can't remember) minute mile.  for the first half.  and i was still going strong.  and then the 11 mile point hit.  and i wanted to quit.  but i just kept telling myself that it's only 2 miles.  its only 20 minutes. 

and then we got to the real 11 mile point.  and i started crying.  burst into tears is really more descriptive, i guess.  all the people around were all crazy, yelling "DOES SHE NEED AN AMBULANCE. IS SHE OK." and it was kind of embarassing, but everything just hurt and i had tricked myself into thinking i was almost done, and instead of 20 minutes left, i had 27 minutes left.  so then sister made me eat some runny bears (named by my daddy:  like gummy bears but for running.  and they're square) and then i thought i could do it.

and then i started crying again at 1 mile. and i had to take my socks off.  because they were hurting my feet so bad.  it sounds weird. but they were sliding down around my toes and bunching and giving me blisters. 
and then when i started again, sister said we had to get some gatorade, but i couldn't stop or i would never finish.  so i poured yellow gatorade down my front and tried to catch a few drops on my tongue. 

and then i was running as fast as i could because i saw the end and everything hurt and i was sick of my stupid hat and i was sick of my cool dress that was not so cool to run in because it would slide up all the time (over my running clothes, that is) 

and then it was the end.  and sister got 1 second faster than me but i placed ahead of her. HAHAHA
we finished in like 2:38:something.  and i was dying.  all my muscles were seizing. i had at least 8 blisters.  this is not an exaggeration.  and sister looked like she just had a refreshing shower and brunch.  jerk. 

and this was the end:  i wore my medal for the rest of the time i was there, i think..
good thing i took my hat off.  when i saw pictures from the event, i finally realized just how stupid it really was.

Monday, 16 April 2012

NEVER CROSS ME.

i love pinterest.  i loved it before it got popular to facebook about what you're pinteresting.  irritating.  but i can't bring myself to get rid of it.  here is mine, in case you were looking for it.  or in case i was supposed to give you the link 3 months ago, but forgot because i'm so. busy.
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did i ever tell you about the time my big sissy and i raced to grow our hair out.  BORRRINGGG.  we started in the beginning of 2009 when i lived in england.  and it took 2 YEARS. 

but i won.  because i'm the only one (i think out of my whole family) who actually tells the haircutter person what i really want.  everyone else (ahem, mom and sister) just goes, "oh, i just kind of want it maybe cut a little bit.  here and there?"  and, after a massive hack job, or even a perfect cut, "that's great, thanks!"

so every time we got haircuts (the rule was we could only cut it when we were together, which averaged out to about every 6 to 8 months) mine would look about the same as it did before the cut, and hers would be about 3 inches shorter.  wahaha. 

anyways.  mine was 12 inches in no time!  (only a year and a half) but i had to wait another 6 months so that pj's could be 12 inches too. 

and this is what it looked like:


and this is what happened when i rubbed it in that i was winning:

and for once, and probably the only time, pj came to the haircutter place with a picture and she told the haircutter what she wanted

and then this happened:

pj didn't say anything, so i had to. 

me:  um...it looks kind of mushroomy.  you might want to do something about that.  maybe it should be shorter?  or something?

haircutter:  NEVER CROSS ME!  I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!  THE REASON IT LOOKS LIKE THIS IS THAT I HAVE TO FIX ALL THE PROBLEMS FROM THE LAST MORON WHO CUT THESE OTHERWISE LOVELY LOCKS.

me:  um...that was you?

haircutter:  I WAS JUST TESTING YOU.  THIS IS PART OF THE PROCESS.
and here is what we ended up with:

forgive the photography skills on this one.  usually my self portraits are much more artistic.  only, pj was leaving and (as usual) didn't want her portrait taken (do i sound like an artist?) and as much as she probably didn't want to go on a gross, staph-inducing airplane, she probably wanted to get away from me after 10 straight days (or however long i followed her around and said irritating things) (as usual).

and this is what is looked like from the back:
nice
crazy:  (by accident)


THE END.

Friday, 13 April 2012

i think it really is bad luck

i found a funny.  i've been reading all his old stuff.  not that i'm big on interweb speak, but he really is laugh out loud funny.
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friday the thirteenth.  i didn't even know til all the crazy/bad things already happened.

number one bad thing:  two exams this morning after too little studying
number two bad thing:  i can't get ahold of England to pay for a transcript i ordered and they only accept credit cards or "sterling cheques," which no bank in america has!
number three bad thing:  i am babysitting eda and oni while boyfriend is out of town and eda tried to eat the fedex man today. 
number four bad thing:  oni finally snuggled with me!  i had about half a second to be excited before she sunk her claws and her teeth into my leg.  so i pushed her off, and pissed her off, and she tore around the house like a rabid, well, cat.  then after she had disappeared for about a second, she came tearing back through the living room, launched herself in my direction, bit off half my ear, and was gone again before i even knew what happened.
number five bad thing:  when i was supposed to be able to take a breath, i had to do history assignments instead. 
number six bad thing:  ITS FREEZING OUT!

now i know what day it is, no more bad things are happening.  except for rude ladies who come to pay their bill and then yell at me for how much it is after i go out of my way to call the billing office and find out how much it is for them.  didn't you ever learn "don't be sassy and rude to the messenger"?

anyways, if i was clever, i would come up with thirteen to go with what day it is.  but i guess my life isn't that exciting.  or bad.  however you want to look at it.



T minus twenty three days before THE MOVE.

Monday, 26 March 2012

only because i have 3 tests this week...

i have 3 exams this week. 
i am taking over 20 credits, 9 of which i started over spring break, but still have to finish by may.
i just found out i have to pay $250 to have my england transcript evaluated.
we seem to be in the middle of a windstorm, and the canoe keeps blowing into the neighbors yard, and i have to keep chasing it down and bringing it back while dirt is blowing in my eyes. 
my computer crashed yesterday.
now i have no computer. 
but maybe i still have everything that lived on said computer.
i didn't have to wear a winter coat to class today!!!

i heard this song today as i was listening to the radio as i currently have no itunes.  and probably won't until may.  anyways.  go in with this phrase in your head:  heaven is a baseball nerf!

Monday, 23 January 2012

here they are. now am i a cat lady?

i still have to finish my texas adventures.  before the next one starts.  i don't have much time.... 
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the dreaded CAT PHOTOS have arrived!!!!
tell me those are not the eyes of the devil. 
i locked oni in eda's cage so i could clean her toilet and she was not happy.  she bit me when she got out.
caught taking a bath in the bath. 

so. bright.  ouch.

oh. um.... once i was a bunny.  in sams.
oni likes to get in things.  like plastic envelopes.  eda doesn't understand.
she also likes to lick highlighters.  so i drew on her nose. 
every photo of eda is blurry.  she moves fast even when she is laying down.
she doesn't know how to stay still.  but she tries so hard. 
see how blurry fast her tongue is?  she could kill a person with that tongue.