i feel like this whole thing would be a lot easier if i were to use specific examples, instead of beating around the bush, trying to say something by not saying it. but specific examples makes it times ten more personal. if you know what i mean?
the someone that i am still working on forgiving... although, when i think about it, i'm not sure i ever need to forgive them. it's still up in the air... i'll decide later, i guess.
anyways, i am in the midst of deciding whether or not to forgive this certain person for probably the biggest betrayal of my trust that i have ever experienced. it hurt me. mentally. physically. emotionally. it turned my life upside down. and although in time i will heal, have been healing, in fact, the aftermath will be around for a long, long, very long time. possibly forever. most likely forever. and although i will go on trusting and dwelling and living, i will remember, and i will have to try so extremely hard not to let it affect me and how i trust and dwell and live.
it's a work in progress. it may never turn into a final draft, that i can turn in and just forget about. i think this is one of those things that i will need to keep rewriting and rewriting to be able to deal with and live with, but i am starting, i am learning, to be ok with that process.
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